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sehuzn ([personal profile] sehuzn) wrote2015-12-30 10:19 pm
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The End of 2015 and Start of 2016

I made this because I needed some kind of closure for this year. It's a bit like year end meme but with small variations and a lot more monologue. If you are reading this, I'm sorry.

For starters (my origin story):

2015 has been one hell of a year for me. I started the year studying my ass of in hopes of getting into my dream university, getting into any university, and continued studying until June. In the end I didn’t pass the entrance exams but I was accepted into a different university and after the initial disappointment had withered off, I was quite happy about it.

I quit my job in august and moved to another city to start my studies. I got tons of new friends and got lost so many times. I partied, I studied (sometimes), I passed some courses with flying colors and almost failed others. Some nights I cried myself to sleep because life itself was too much, some I spent lying in bed with my friends and talking about universe and bad movies.

Somewhere during the spring of 2015 I found kpop and exo. I have been writing fanfiction since I was 12 or 13. I was an avid twilight fan back in my darker teenage years so naturally that was the fandom I was going with. I used to write in Finnish and I wrote a lot. Maybe it wasn’t the best kind of writing and I can barely read it nowadays without crying but it was something at least. When I turned 16 I had grown out from all my fandoms and I eventually stopped with writing and reading fanfiction.

During the next few years I only wrote a couple of poems and really short drabbles, nothing else. I missed writing, but I had no inspiration to go back to the forum I used to write on. I had no inspiration for my old fandoms and creating something from nothing, original content, has never been for me. I guess I’m lazy like that.

But during the time I wasn’t writing, I read. A lot. And most importantly, I read in English. I consumed dozens of books in just a few months. I read everything I could get my hands on: John Green, Chuck Palahniuk, Max Brooks. I think my reading made it easier for me to eventually switch from Finnish to English.

Anyway back to the spring of 2015. One morning I was laying on a bench somewhere in Helsinki, waiting for my name to be called so I could do my interview for one of the universities I was applying. I had about three hours to spend but nothing to do. I decided to open one of my friends’ fanfiction recs page. Yeah, I was a pit skeptical because I had never read RPF before, and nothing from EXO. But curiosity got the best of me and I started reading and haven’t stopped since.

I have always been a reader before I became a writer. I read an insane amount of fics during the first few months, I still do. But after a while my head was overflowing with ideas, need to write and, most importantly, inspiration.

It was a bit, umm, unsure at first. I was rusty and confused. But now, four months later I’m here. And that’s all that matters.

What I did in 2015:

In 2015 I learned to write again. I many important friends in the fandom, both writers and readers. And it’s only been a few months but I feel like I’ve improved. My ideas are better, my vocabulary is better. I’m learning. I even took part in selubration, I wrote a fic with deadline. I’ve always been horrible with deadlines.

I learned to write something every day and plan my writing. I started to enjoy most bizarre AU settings and situations.

I wrote a story that’s over 10K words long. It may not seem like it but it’s a lot for me! I find it hard to commit into long stories (this applies both reading and writing).

I learned the English ratings! Believe me all these PG and NC-17 ratings were pure nonsense to me before 2015.

And most importantly, I learned that pairing is indeed spelled like pairing not paring.

Goals for 2016:

In short: write more. Write better. Test new things. Finish at least one of my wips. Try not to start so many wips. Test my boundaries and grow as a writer. Actually post something.


My Writing in 2015:

Favorite lines:

~ They have been doing it for so long that the lingering touches and stolen glances come naturally. Sometimes Sehun finds himself reaching for Luhan’s hand in the privacy of their dormitory too, curling up to the man’s chest during their long movie marathons and finding peace in the fingers playing with his hair. – Sing for you

~ “You are so beautiful when you swim,” Lu Han whispered, cornering Sehun into the shallow end of the pool. His breath was hot in Sehun’s ear and hands run down on his chest and ribs, mapping their way with faint goosebumps. “I’m going to make you the best of them all.”

And Sehun believed him. – What doesn’t kill you

~ – – and somehow Luhan feels a bit better and Sehun a bit worse but they will make it through because this time it’s Sehun who’s crying. and somehow he understands.
and some day it will stop. – Suffocating

~ You don’t talk much, do you? It wasn’t really a question so Sehun doesn’t bother replying. Instead he just blushes more and hides behind his silver fringe and plays with his shoelaces. Luhan laughs a bit and reaches for Sehun’s arm. Sehun looks up from his shoes and meets Luhan’s eyes. He’s smiling again. It’s fine though. There’s nothing wrong with silence. WIP (Hard edges and smooth curves)

~ Is stealing time a crime? Sehun thinks about it as he runs through the dimly light streets of Lower Seoul. Time’s something everything’s born with but only few have the luxury to spend. – WIP (Stealing time, stealing hearts)

Favorite Fic Posted: Sing for you

Favorite Wips:

~ For you [Guardian angel!AU] At every twist and turn of Luhan’s life, Sehun has been there.

~ Hard edges and smooth curves [College!AU] Sehun learns to be there and not to just show up.

~ Dear no one [Soulmates!AU] If you were to ask Lu Han what’s his favorite thing about humans, he would answer the red strings of faith, of course without the slightest hesitation.

~ With ears to hear and eyes to see [Wolf!AU, disability!AU] Sehun may be blind but he’s all that Luhan has ever wanted and more.

Statistics of 2015:

Words Written: 40,700 (not including the plotting)
Fics Posted: 4
Fics Started: 30, 4 of which are now dropped
Favorite Main Characters: Sehun (in 17 fics), Luhan (in 14 fics)
Favorite Supporting Characters: Jongin, Chanyeol
Comments Left: 28


Final words:

All in all, 2015 was one of the best years in my life. Let’s just hope that 2016 goes as smoothly.